Taking a Chance

So Its been a while since I posted.  We have been so busy as a family but things are slowing down finally.  We moved, Jon started a new job and life got hectic.  I am now 8 months pregnant and hitting the point of extreme fatigue.  I have been bored so started learning some craft items that have always intrigued me.  I successfully have been making an inventory of hair bows, bath salts and custom blankets.  I started a business via a Facebook page recently and really hope it works out.  I would love to bring in a small income to help out our family and to give me a hobby doing something I enjoy.  Once I master these things in my business and start to have a fan base who starts buying I am hoping to add some other projects that I have been dabbling in, tutus, small newborn to 8yr old neck ties, button jewelry and doll blankets.  Lets just hope the business takes off, I would hate to see another thing I want to do not work out.  I have been trying to get into home day care for a couple years now but cannot find children to watch even while offering great prices.  Right now all I can do is take a chance and try and fly. Lets hope it works!

R-E-S-P-E-C-T!

I feel like there is a huge amount of disrespect amongst people in this world.  I also feel like people think respect is something it is usually not. To start I want to list the dictionary meaning of the word respect.

Respect is to:
hold something in esteem or honor, to show consideration for or to refrain from interfering with





To many people do not uphold the above. But to have a functioning and happy friendship or even interaction involves both people in the relationship to have respect for each other.  To many people do not realize that respect needs to exist in all relationships.  It needs to be in the relationships of the: boss-employee, husband-wife, parent-child, friend-friend, daughter in law-mother in law, brother to brother...etc

After respect is working in a relationship then and only then can trust, love and understanding grow.  So that said what is respect, beyond the dictionary's take on it.  Respect is understanding someone may be different or similar to you but they are who they are, and accepting that.  Its understanding that things about someone may bring you close but also may create a friction point for you but respect is to let it go or embrace it if acceptable.  Respect is showing kindness and caring for everything a person may be.  And lastly respect is knowing that each person has the right and free will to make their own choices.  If you disagree with how someone may be functioning as a person respect is understanding that people have the right to be that way unless they are endangering themselves or others.


So to understand all of this I thought I would come up with some examples:

-If your employee does his work in a different way but works hard and gets the job done correctly/isn't hurting anything then respect his strategies. (you might learn something!)
-If your wife needs to talk, let her and be there for her. Respect her need for your time.
-If your child needs some privacy do not read their diary.  Those are their thoughts on paper not a book for you! (build trust!)
-If your friend does not like football respect that and do not beg them to watch the game with you, go rollerblading next Sunday instead.
-A Mother In Law can respect that her Son's house is his and can respect her Daughter in Law's house keeping without critique
-A brother can respect that his brother does not eat Chinese food so he suggests going out for burgers instead for their weekly guys night

With a little time and caring anyone can treat other people with Respect and in turn make others feel appreciated!

6 Reasons to Have a child

Lately I have reminded myself why I love being a parent, I thought writing them down would keep them in perspective for me and others.

1) You will never laugh more than when your child is playing
2) Watching your child sleeping next to you like a beautiful doll will melt any heart
3) When you need a hug they are always there staring at you ready with open arms
4) They teach you the patience you need to get through life
5) You have the best reason to live for: Your child needs you and you need them
6) Your house is never quiet but full of laughter and life

So a little Devil's advocate, 6 reasons not to have kids:

1) You will not only come in contact with but have to clean up every known bodily fluid at some point
2) You can't own nice things because milk, paint, crayon and other staining objects are always being used
3) There are nights you will not sleep, have to get up every 2 hours, stay up late, get up at 5am because children get sick, scared or run on their own clock.
4) Spontaneous trips or outings are impossible because the diaper bag, high chair, crib need to be packed and you need to drive home for blankey if it is forgotten
5)Goodbye Prime Time TV: Hello Barney, Blue's Clue's, Pooh Bear and Veggie Tales
6) You do not get to rest in bed and have someone take care of you when you are sick, you need to be making soup for the sick child no matter how you feel

Either way, I think the reasons to have a child are way better than the reasons not to.  I am thankful I get to experience all of these things everyday!

Our path

My daughter Jasmine is different than most children.  There are a lot of people I know who do not know that.  We do not advertise it because we fear people will not understand.  Jasmine was born Hard of Hearing, also known as HOH.  She is just slightly below being deaf.  She has a bilateral congenital hearing loss.  She is considered to have a moderate loss in her right ear and a moderate severe loss in her left.  Her hearing loss is not quite at the point for Cochlear implants but she wears hearing aids.  Jasmine knows sign language (recognizing over 30 signs and using 8 herself).  She was born deaf and as far as we know it is not genetic.  When we found out she was deaf I cried.  I cried because of so many things.  I cried because she may never talk correctly, her hearing could get worse over time, she may never like music or singing.  I cried because the financial burden for us and her for the rest of her life will always have 6,000$ hearing aids as part of the budget.  I cried because school is hard enough without being different.  We have now known she is HOH for over a year now.  I no longer cry and I see such amazing things out of her.  She is different than other children because of her hearing loss but it has also caused her to be amazingly special.  She takes the time to think and understand quicker than children her own age.  She is so smart, knowing the sign language she knows.  She used to hate her hearing aids.  She would throw them and hide them but now she understands them.  She asks to wear them and checks if they are in.  We all have embraced this different path we were put on and its turning out alright.  I just wish other people would understand.  This last week a woman walked up to Jasmine and I to see the cute baby.  She looked at her, stopped and said, "Oh my gosh! She has hearing aids? That's so sad!".  She then stared at us for 20 seconds with pity in her eyes.  I wanted to level that woman. I wanted to teach her some manners!  I have worked hard and will continue to work hard to teach my daughter that her hearing loss is nothing to pity.  Everyone is different and this just makes her different too.  I have worked with special needs children for 3 years now and hated seeing people giving them pity but when it was my own child I wanted to attack.  I can only hope Jasmine learns to deal with those people and realize she can be anything she wants to be.  There are deaf actresses, teachers, athletes and so much more.  They worked harder but they are better for it.  The other thing that drives me crazy with all of this is the people we know, family and friends.  We have gotten so many comments on what to do that I on many occasions had to slow myself down so no one got hurt.  I know people have good intentions but I hate being told how to mother and I hate even more being told how to deal with hearing loss in my own child.  We have had many people tell us the right way when they are not the ones on the front lines.  We have been told hearing aids were a waste of money because prayer will fix her.  We have been told she can just lip read because that's how they used to do it.  We have been told she might grow out of it.  We have been told sign language is a waste of time.  I know the people who say these things have good intentions but from where I am standing I need to do everything to give Jasmine the best life I can with the most intervention if needed.  Can God heal? Yes, but sometimes he lets things happen for a reason.  I know there is a bigger plan here and I just need to trust God knows what is happening.  If he chooses to randomly heal her than great, if not we need to be prepared for her life and give her the things she needs.  In the deaf community lip reading is used but it is used during signing most of the time.  Now a days most people do not just learn to lip read there is so many other ways.  Can she grow out of this? Again who knows but the medical knowledge we have is showing us she will not.  I choose not to walk around with misguided hope.  I just focus on what we know.  And sign language, if it was not for her using her hands for communication we would have no clue what she wanted.  All I know is she is a beautiful little girl who although she has a hearing loss loves to sing, dance, and sometimes slow down to look at a flower.  And that is the best path for us right now.    

"A penny for my thoughts, oh no I’ll sell them for a dollar. They're worth so much more after I’m a goner"

Its been less than a year now since my Cousin died.  I did not tell many people about it happening because for a long time I could not think about any of it without hurting.  I still have days when thinking of him makes me cry so I have to try that much harder to move on.  My cousin, Paul, was a couple of years older than I am. I was closer to him than most people were.  The last time we ever talked he thanked me for loving him for just being him, not many people did.  My cousin made a lot of mistakes in his life and those mistakes at times hurt, confused and disregarded other people.  He was working on his life slow but sure.  Paul was always mischievous, he was my older cousin who was so cool to me growing up.  Paul died last summer in a car accident.  Both he and the girl driving were drunk and my Cousin died.  I think how he died is what makes this harder on me.  If he would have died from an illness or something else I think it would have been better in my mind.  I just cannot bring myself to forgive him.  He should not have gotten in a car with a drunk driver regardless of his own sobriety.  I feel like his bad choice ripped him out of our lives and its not fair.  I hate thinking ill of the dead and I try to just think of the good times but that bitterness keeps sneaking in.  I know I need to forgive him.  I miss him and it makes my heart ache knowing he left behind my beautiful Godson, Owen.  His son will never know his father, not like I did.  I still have not went to Paul's grave.  I keep making excuses for myself just so I do not need to let those feelings out, but the time has come to release the grip of bitterness on my heart.  I never lost anyone close to me before and losing my Cousin changed the way I look at everything.  I do not want to lose anyone else before their time.  I really love more now, and try harder.  I just wish I could make some of the other loved ones I have understand that we could lose each other in a moment.  To many people that I love and would do anything for fight and carry bitterness.  I wish they could understand that things change and we need to hold onto every second we  have together.  I would give anything to have 5 minutes with Paul.  I can only hope that the ones I love know that I love them and if something would ever happen to me they know they meant everything to me.  I guess it all comes down to, life is to short to hate, fight or hold bitterness in your heart.  Be thankful for what you have and love as much as you can. 

J's?

I thought I could explain the meaning of the J's of it all.  Everything in my life is a J.  J's really are my all.  My last name starts with it.  My middle name starts with it.  My name is Julie, husband is Jon, baby is Jasmine and the cat is Jinx.  My life truly is filled with J's. 

First things First

I am pretty sure I cloned myself.  My daughter is like my mini me.  She has the same sly grin I get right before I get into trouble.  I just wish I knew what to expect from her.  Babies should really come with a how to guide.  After they turn one, they turn into something so different.  They are so smart! Toddlers are their own species, able to learn very quickly, trick people into things using their cuteness and when they do not get their way unleash a meltdown. My little one, Jasmine, is at times the cutest little angel ever to set foot on this planet but at other times she is a wild woman! In 48 hours she managed to learn how to get into her high chair by mountain climbing into it, pulled the cat's tail after baiting him with Goldfish crackers, and hid her Dvd player causing a 30 minute search for it and then ran off with it as soon as we found it in the closet under a stack of books.  As I write this she is sleeping in her crib, its the best moments of silence I can get.  The only time in my day when I do not need to be taking care of a husband, I can pretend the living room does not look like a toy bomb exploded, and I can plan how to strike.  Strike, you ask?  Just as I am a mother, wife, cook, baker, maid, photographer, butler, and playmate I am an army general.  Except, I do not fight Iraq, Iran, Terrorists or other well known threats.  No, I have a much closer threat.  I spend time each morning planning how to preemptively take on my opposing Army, the Toddler.  It is her daily goal yes to love me and be a beautiful little girl but also to cover our home with toys, hide cookies for later, leave sippy cups in toy boxes, and chase the cat.  Luckily, I have Goldfish crackers, Nilla Wafers and Barney in my weapons stock.  If I can finish my day with a meal on the table, house cleaned up and Jasmine in bed on time, today I won the battle.   Don't get me wrong, I love my little girl.  She is the smartest little thing I have ever known.  Her hugs melt my heart and seeing her dance to barney makes me laugh in even the darkest moments.  Having her was the best thing I ever did.  She has taught me so much and helped mold me into a great mother.  I look forward to watching her grow into a beautiful woman, but until then, I need to figure out how to to get chocolate milk out of the carpet.