Love, Honor, Commitment

When I was a child I never grew up thinking love was a fairytale.  I knew someday I would find the man I loved but that love is work.  I paid close attention to my parents, grandparents, and aunts and uncles.  I watched the good and bad times for everyone.  I saw my parents feed off each others love for each other.  It amazed me.  They hate to even be away from each other, and they were always happier together.  They always have kissed goodbye when they leave each other and think about the other when they are gone.  But all the love in a relationship like parents does not mean a lack of struggle or bad times.  I have seem them fight, cry, struggle, and fall apart.  But the thing about my parents, is that they always find a way to work through what life throws at them and they love each other still.  I have seen things plague many couples around me and some don't always pull out of the situations very well.  I have seen couples who lost their love and stay together out of commitment.  I have seen couples divorce, and I have seen couples still fighting to find their way.  Love is a tricky thing.  Love can bring so much happiness but it can cause the most pain.  When you love someone you put your heart in their hands.  They hold the power to disappoint you, support you, lift you up and make you cry.  To marry that person is to promise to to commit that love forever.  I am thinking all of this today because I have been reading my Facebook and noticing people who don't seem to understand love and the commitment of marriage.  Now don't get me wrong, I have only been married nearly 4 years.  I'm not an expert.  The experts among us have been married 50 years and still kiss goodnight before bed.  But my 4 years of experience make me want to hope that the people who need to know what marriage is find out.  I am 23 years old and I have seen at least 4 people my age married and divorced already.  These people have told me they rushed into the marriage for the wrong reasons.  It breaks my heart to know the statistics associated with divorce in our country, and I am seeing it happening to people my age.  A few of the people I know who divorced this young have talked to me about it.  They talk to me about a love that is like a fairytale.  The PERFECT spouse. But then I shake my head knowing there is no such thing.  I am not perfect, I never will be.  As individuals we are all not perfect, so what makes people think that after marriage the couple will be perfect?  Is your boyfriend or fiance a coward when they face their parent, even if their parent treats you horribly?  Do you really think a wedding ring around his finger will instantly make him cherish and protect you from that?  Does your girlfriend constantly put you down? Do you think after she weds she will honor you?  Now with this logic no one should get married.  But its alright to get married if you both go into the marriage wanting to change the imperfections and love honor and cherish your spouse.  It takes work, fights and tears.  You are going to go to bed angry sometimes and wonder what tomorrow will bring.  But if you put in the work at the end of the tunnel you and your spouse will be stronger.  The best advice I can give a couple getting married, go to marriage counseling.  Learn the skills you need to grow as a couple and individuals.  Spend time discussing what you want from life.  How many children? Do you want to live near family, across the country? Make sure you can make a plan for your life.  Make each other your first priority.  Take your time and find your intended match.  I have been lucky to find my husband.  We compliment each other.  But I will never claim we are perfect.  No one is perfect.  My husband has things about him that drive me nuts and there are things I do that drive him nuts but we know they exist and work on them for each other.  It will take time, and we will go through ups and downs as we have for 4 years but we Love, Honor and are Committed to each other.  Don't be in love with love, be in love with yourself, your spouse and God.